I have read that many people come home from the hospital after a stillbirth and immediately dismantle the nursery. We chose to leave Emma's nursery intact. She was cremated, and it was important to me to bring her home and put her in the room that we had lovingly decorated for her. This shelf container a photo of Jeff and I holding her tiny hand in ours, her urn, a letter "E" that a friend of mine created for her as a shower gift, and the purple hat she was wearing at the hospital in some of her photos.
I do have a ritual. It's not every day, but it's most days. I go in and put a hand on her urn and close my eyes and tell her I love her. I pick up her little hat and smell it...it smelled so much like her when we brought it home, but I fear it's fading now. Still, knowing that it touched her makes me feel that a physical part of her is always with me.
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