This photo was taken in Florida when we were on vacation last spring. I was seven months pregnant, and I spent the trip imagining how different the trip would be next year, when Emma was along and Jeff could take her to the beach, and we could take her swimming.
This month has been hard for me. The first half was uplifting and liberating, and the last two weeks have just been weighing heavily on my heart. I feel like I'm having some form of PTSD. Halloween is the first real holiday we've gone through (4th of July was so close to Emma's birth that it barely registered), and I was looking forward to picking out her costume and taking pumpkin pictures and taking her trick-or-treating so that Jeff and I could keep candy for ourselves.
Someone I know was diagnosed with a serious illness, and that's been difficult, as well. This year has just dealt devastating blow after devastating blow, and I can't keep seeing people that I care about being knocked down. It seems like every time I hear from someone, things are going awry.
So what does this sunset mean to me? I hope that it means that the sun is setting two months early on this nightmare of a year. I hope that it means that I can wake tomorrow and refocus my energy on healing and looking at the good things in life. I hope that it means that the people I love are going to be able to do the same. As a general rule I avoid any sense of entitlement, but I think we all have earned it. We deserve for things to turn around. So here's to the sun coming up in a day of hope and positivity. And the red squiggle under positivity will not deter me, I am declaring it a real word.
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