Day 11: Trigger Happy

Day 11's word for Capture Your Grief is Emotional Triggers.  The things that give me the hardest time are seeing women who are late in their pregnancy and enjoying life without a care in the world, and seeing brand new, tiny little babies.





It's really hard to articulate these feelings, because I think that people misinterpret it as some kind of envy.  What I really feel for the pregnant women I see is a longing for that simple time when I believed everything would be okay, and that I would end up with a beautiful, healthy baby in my arms.  I was half right.

When I see those tiny babies, I am filled with an almost crippling pain that I never got to bring my baby home and take her to those places.  Bed, Bath, & Beyond, a pizza restaurant, a wine bar...perhaps I need to think of some better examples.

I know that with time these triggers will become less sensitive, but for now the pain is still so raw that I flinch when I see them.